Top Two Tips to Remember When Divorcing a Narcissist

January 13, 2022 | J. Benjamin Stevens | Share:

In most cases, separating and getting divorced is hard, even under the best of circumstances. However, staying in a bad marriage can be even worse, particularly if your spouse is a suspected or diagnosed narcissist. In psychological terms, narcissism refers to someone who is extremely selfish, who has a grandiose view of his/her own talents and a craving for admiration.

As you might imagine, living with a narcissist can be challenging, and deciding to leave one can be even more so. However, the good news is that it can be done.  I was once interviewed for an article, “Your 5 Step Plan for Breaking Free of a Narcissist”, that asked several divorce and mental health experts for tips when divorcing a narcissist.

This article included several great recommendations, including the following below from me:

Hire an attorney.

“One of the quickest ways to take the power away from a narcissist is to hire an attorney, particularly an experienced and well respected one. It’s much easier for a narcissist to play games with their spouse without a lawyer involved. The attorney will not be affected by the emotional aspect of the case, which is where the narcissists thrive. Plus, the attorney will know how to keep the case moving toward a resolution, even if the other side attempts to drag their feet.”

Remember Your Attorney is Your Advocate.

“When a narcissist realizes that his spouse has hired an experienced attorney and that his ‘mind games’ will no longer be effective, he will be much more likely to stop playing them because they will not garner the desired effect. If the opposing party is actively attempting to delay the case, the attorney can get the Court involved to help move the case forward, as judges want cases to proceed and not linger. If the narcissist violates a Court Order, contempt actions are a great way to get his attention and make him realize that he is not in control of the case.”


All of the tips in the referenced article are wonderful, but trying to divorce a narcissist without the assistance of an attorney almost guarantees you’ll never be fully free him or her. If you are considering divorcing your narcissistic spouse, the money spent hiring an experienced legal team to represent you will be worth avoiding the emotional damage you’ll likely suffer trying to go it alone.

If you find yourself facing the prospect of a divorce, separation, child custody, or other family-related issues, you need the help of an experienced South Carolina family law attorney to guide you through the difficult process.  Ben Stevens has handled these cases across South Carolina for over 25 years. You are invited to contact our office today at (864) 598-9172 or to schedule a consultation to discuss how our firm can assist you through this process.

Contact our office at (864) 598-9172 or to schedule an initial consultation.



Aggressive, creative, and compassionate are words Ben Stevens' colleagues freely use to describe him as a divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Stevens is a Fellow in the prestigious American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, the International Academy of Family Lawyers, and is a Board Certified Family Trial Advocate by the National Board of Trial Advocacy. He is one of only two attorneys in South Carolina with those simultaneous distinctions. He has held numerous leadership positions in the AAML, and he currently serves as one of its National Vice Presidents. Mr. Stevens has a statewide practice and regularly appears all across South Carolina.  His practice is focused on complex divorce and child custody cases.

Click here to learn more about Ben »»








Offit Kurman, one of the fastest-growing, full-service law firms in the United States, serves dynamic businesses, individuals and families. With 16 offices and nearly 250 lawyers who counsel clients across more than 30 areas of practice, Offit Kurman helps maximize and protect business value and personal wealth by providing innovative and entrepreneurial counsel that focuses on clients’ business objectives, interests and goals. The firm is distinguished by the quality, breadth and global reach of its legal services and a unique operational structure that encourages a culture of collaboration. For more information, visit